Advice columnists — and fiction novelists — often claim that pressure exposes “who we really are,” but I'm not sure how relevant those crises really are to evaluating personality.
I had never put those two together in the books. I read "my parents were married" as simply an example of a stable upbringing, or something similarly anodyne. Until your post, I didn't realize she was calling officers bastards.
Once again, not at all on point to your essay, but it's the level at which I can comment today.
Good essay. This reminds me of the saying “dying for somebody is easy, but living for them is hard”
I think it does reveal something about our character, but not our WHOLE character. Going to a job everyday, opening doors for elderly, volunteering and donating, …
All of these also reveal something about our character (or just capabilities). How that’s weighted probably depends on the environment the person has to live in and handle.
Thanks! I had forgotten that quote, but it definitely the sort of thing that gestures at what I'm trying to get at here. And your point about the environment matters a lot -- the post world war era has had a lot less need of selfless bravery of the "walk into a hail of bullets" type (although not zero, alas)
There is a related thought that goes "in an emergency, you will not perform better than your level of training*". I think people who have wikipedia entries are the exceptions to that rule.
My experience of using my first aid follows the rule. I definitely helped, but I didn't feel I performed to the level of training I had had. But I did better the second time that the first time.
Similarly my girlfriend, now wife was hospitalized about a year before our daughter was born, so supporting her through that experience helped prepare me for supporting her through childbirth.
Oh, yeah, training helps a lot. Even thought experiments (what would I do if I were in a foreign country and lost my luggage? well, I would--) are better than coming at a dicey situation cold.
I think that it's true that pressure exposes a lot in people, but i also think that pressure shows differently for different people! We're so adaptable that a life-changing, character-revealing thing for one person is just another monday for someone else.
This was thought-provoking Eleanor. Might everyday behaviors accumulate to greatness?
I say yes! Consistent everyday behaviors (habits, sustained focus, small disciplined choices) compound over time into exceptional outcomes. while high-pressure moments reveal certain traits, long-term practices shape skill, character, and true achievement in my opinion.
Yeah I feel like I am much more impressed by people who can do the small, un-celebrated things day-in, day-out than I am people who reacted well in a crisis a couple of times. It's not newsworthy, but it's much harder (for someone like me) to grind away on an important project in obscurity for decades than it is to handle a high-pressure situation like a fire where the "right thing to do" is obvious andyou just have to be brave for a bit and let training take over. Not to denigrate heroes like Daly! I'm just thinking of how I've personally handled "crises" vs. how hard it is for me to establish habits.
I agree. Your character is everything put together. Sometimes our worst comes out, sometimes our best, but that isn't a character reflection. Your character is what you try to improve, the direction you try to go in
My lady and I have been talking about reflection - what it is, how it might be done. Posts like this -which show your life and your reading and your job and your turning-over of them all in your mind - make me think you may have a lot to say about the practice?
Reflection is a pretty big topic, I think! I would be happy to be helpful here, but I'm not entirely sure the best way... I guess I'll start by saying that my usual habit is to dig through quotes until I find something that sparks a thought, and then run with it either in my notebook, a file on my computer, or just in my ruminations as I go for a walk. I try to set aside space and time to really put effort into this at least once a week.
Somewhere, and I wish I recalled where, an author said that in this AI age a liberal education is more valuable than a technical education.
Liberal educations can teach us how to have conversations, and how to question in them, and how to chew on the responses to get the most from them, and how to appreciate. These very old skills (they go back at least to Socrates and his teacher Diotima) are suddenly current and foregrounded
It seems to me that reflection is such a conversation with yourself. The better the questions, the better the nutrition. I find myself collecting questions.
As I was thinking about how to answer, a post arrived in my inbox (https://substack.com/home/post/p-180031052). The author hands his podium to Sam Illingworth, who teaches us a set of questions to ask an AI. He begins with "Before I write anything, help me notice the question beneath the question I am about to type...."
I had never put those two together in the books. I read "my parents were married" as simply an example of a stable upbringing, or something similarly anodyne. Until your post, I didn't realize she was calling officers bastards.
Once again, not at all on point to your essay, but it's the level at which I can comment today.
Hah it's definitely a lot more obvious if you read the books back to back.
Good essay. This reminds me of the saying “dying for somebody is easy, but living for them is hard”
I think it does reveal something about our character, but not our WHOLE character. Going to a job everyday, opening doors for elderly, volunteering and donating, …
All of these also reveal something about our character (or just capabilities). How that’s weighted probably depends on the environment the person has to live in and handle.
Thanks! I had forgotten that quote, but it definitely the sort of thing that gestures at what I'm trying to get at here. And your point about the environment matters a lot -- the post world war era has had a lot less need of selfless bravery of the "walk into a hail of bullets" type (although not zero, alas)
There is a related thought that goes "in an emergency, you will not perform better than your level of training*". I think people who have wikipedia entries are the exceptions to that rule.
My experience of using my first aid follows the rule. I definitely helped, but I didn't feel I performed to the level of training I had had. But I did better the second time that the first time.
Similarly my girlfriend, now wife was hospitalized about a year before our daughter was born, so supporting her through that experience helped prepare me for supporting her through childbirth.
*Or forethought, preparation etc.
Oh, yeah, training helps a lot. Even thought experiments (what would I do if I were in a foreign country and lost my luggage? well, I would--) are better than coming at a dicey situation cold.
I think that it's true that pressure exposes a lot in people, but i also think that pressure shows differently for different people! We're so adaptable that a life-changing, character-revealing thing for one person is just another monday for someone else.
Man that is so true. Things that are soooo hard for me (habits, exercise) seem pretty trivial for others, and vice versa.
This was thought-provoking Eleanor. Might everyday behaviors accumulate to greatness?
I say yes! Consistent everyday behaviors (habits, sustained focus, small disciplined choices) compound over time into exceptional outcomes. while high-pressure moments reveal certain traits, long-term practices shape skill, character, and true achievement in my opinion.
Yeah I feel like I am much more impressed by people who can do the small, un-celebrated things day-in, day-out than I am people who reacted well in a crisis a couple of times. It's not newsworthy, but it's much harder (for someone like me) to grind away on an important project in obscurity for decades than it is to handle a high-pressure situation like a fire where the "right thing to do" is obvious andyou just have to be brave for a bit and let training take over. Not to denigrate heroes like Daly! I'm just thinking of how I've personally handled "crises" vs. how hard it is for me to establish habits.
I agree. Your character is everything put together. Sometimes our worst comes out, sometimes our best, but that isn't a character reflection. Your character is what you try to improve, the direction you try to go in
My lady and I have been talking about reflection - what it is, how it might be done. Posts like this -which show your life and your reading and your job and your turning-over of them all in your mind - make me think you may have a lot to say about the practice?
Reflection is a pretty big topic, I think! I would be happy to be helpful here, but I'm not entirely sure the best way... I guess I'll start by saying that my usual habit is to dig through quotes until I find something that sparks a thought, and then run with it either in my notebook, a file on my computer, or just in my ruminations as I go for a walk. I try to set aside space and time to really put effort into this at least once a week.
Somewhere, and I wish I recalled where, an author said that in this AI age a liberal education is more valuable than a technical education.
Liberal educations can teach us how to have conversations, and how to question in them, and how to chew on the responses to get the most from them, and how to appreciate. These very old skills (they go back at least to Socrates and his teacher Diotima) are suddenly current and foregrounded
It seems to me that reflection is such a conversation with yourself. The better the questions, the better the nutrition. I find myself collecting questions.
As I was thinking about how to answer, a post arrived in my inbox (https://substack.com/home/post/p-180031052). The author hands his podium to Sam Illingworth, who teaches us a set of questions to ask an AI. He begins with "Before I write anything, help me notice the question beneath the question I am about to type...."
Doesn't that provoke reflection?